Feeling the summer heat, I fanned myself inside my room as I watched SCANDAL's PVs. I don't know what's gotten into me today, but as I waited for the internet connection to come back, I plugged in my external hard disc and played all PVs of SCANDAL there.
As I watched the PVs, nostalgic memories washed over me and I felt my heart clenched inside. Then I had this thought... "Ah, my summers had ended."
As far as my memories could go back, I've spent so many summers with SCANDAL's songs. That's why in every PV of SCANDAL, a specific life event comes to mind. For example, SCANDAL's Aitai. This song will forever remind me of my summer after I finished my first year college a few years ago. It was the song I listened to mostly that summer along with Yumemiru tsubasa as I drew my comics. Back then, my dreams were simple: to see SCANDAL in person and watch their live performances in the front row audience.
Kimi ni Aitai. Ima Aitai.
Even now, I still have that desire. However, it's not as strong as how I've felt back then. Because now, there are more people than just the 4 members of SCANDAL that I want to meet. (Arashi & Hey! Say! JUMP members especially my ichibans.)
I have to admit that I felt a little guilty about that. But what can I do? The heart is the most unpredictable thing that we cannot control even though we own it inside us.
Back there at our old house, in every morning of those summer, I'd picked up the broom and swept the backyard with SCANDAL's songs ringing in my earphones. Here's one funny memory: SCANDAL's Kagerou reminds me of the right corner of the outside of our house. Because for some reasons, everytime I reached that corner sweeping the dried leaves, that song is next in my playlist. Somehow, it has became a routine.
Awanai tsumori no, genki de ne reminds me of another time of those summers when I spent half of the day in our kitchen memorizing that song and listening to it over and over again.
Haruka reminds me of that time in that summer when I was just lying on the bamboo floor staring at the ceiling, listening to that song as I tried to forget the heat. I remember trying to distinguish each instruments in the song as I listened.
Taiyou to Kimi ga Egaku Story (picture above) reminds me of a summer night when I was inside our little sari-sari store waiting for costumers. I listened to it as I played games in my phone.
Shunkan Sentimental reminds me also of a summer night when I accompanied my grandparents to a local quack doctor. HAHA. I stayed inside the pedicab watching SCANDAL's live performace of that song as I waited for them to finish their transactions. xD
Anata ga Mawaru and Sayonara My friend are one of the most nostalgic songs. These songs were first introduced to me by my high school otaku friends. I remembered the heat of the sun that day when we we're passing the songs in our phone through bluetooth and singing along as we walked the sides of the streets. Ah, I'm really getting emotional here.
I can't mention every memories that comes back to me in every old songs of SCANDAL because it would surely took forever.
What really made me think today that my summers had finally ended is the fact that I'm an adult now about to graduate from college. My summer 2016 will not be spent doing nothing anymore because I have to take some responsibilities now to train myself in my near future as a working lady in our society. It really saddens me, but I can't stay at one point forever while every single person
around me are following the fast-paced current of life.
Perhaps what really made me felt emotional today is not the memories SCANDAL's songs brought me, but the fact that I have to say goodbye to my good old days as a teenager who loves anime and JPOP. I'd continue loving them of course, but it'll never be the same.
From that I found the answer why, when I tried to leave the SCANDAL fandom last year, I failed miserably. lols. After declaring that I'm not a SCANDAL fan anymore, a few days after that, I found myself loving them again.
Kore ka na ne. Watashi no natsu no omoi.
Yup, it's the memories that SCANDAL's songs hold. That's why now I know I'd love them forever because I'm already emotionally attached to their songs.
My careless summers had ended.
But from here on too, I'd like to create another set of happy memories with their new songs. Because I also knew in my heart that I'd forever love rock music. I'd forever love SCANDAL's jrock.
Careless summers, baibai.
✿ ✿ ✿
PS: If you're reading this from another country, summer in the Philippines is on March to June. Well, we only have two seasons here but those months were the hottest. ^^
And we've been experiencing El Niño here for more or less 5 months now, so summer didn't really made a difference this year. Half of my arms are tanned. Ew. lols.