Aira (jumpingstorm) wrote,

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One Fangirl’s Random Thoughts #3

Wow, the last time I wrote something like this was November of last year. Well, here I am again to express my feels.  ̄ω ̄

...taking a moment to close my eyes and take a very very very deep breath.

Topic: My thoughts on fellow fangirls' experience in Volterra for FMA live action filming

(c) to the kind owner

First, I just wanna say that you might think I'm just making a big deal out of this... but these are my real thoughts. And as a fangirl who have huge feelings for my ichiban (Yamada Ryosuke), this is indeed a big deal for me.

A few days ago, the feeling of jealousy was so raw I have to hold myself back not to cry out of frustration for not being one of those lucky Italian or Thai fans. (If you don't really know yet, my Hey! Say! JUMP ichiban and niban went overseas this month. Dai-chan went to Bangkok, Thailand for JSeries Festival and Ryosuke went to Italyin Volterra to be specificfor the shooting of Fullmetal Alchemist Live Action Movie.) Today, as I was reading about their experience in Volterra watching the shooting of FMA, meeting Ryosuke for approximately 5-6 meters away, being able to give him their heart-felt gifts, and possibly getting finally recognized by him, I felt calm. I surprisingly felt calm, though under normal circumstances I would've felt so jealous I would have just shut down my laptop and sob for the rest of the day. lols

I just had the thought that in this world, for God there are absolutely no coincidences. And though we fangirls have different faiths and religions, this is what I have always believed. Perhaps at some point in their life "story", they are destined to have this kind of experience. An experience the rest of us will envy forever since it's that kind that is a hundred-fold luckier than going to their concert and having the best seat in the venue. Having him return your gaze, having him indirectly conveying how grateful he is to have you around, and having him recognized your face... is a chance I probably can't have in this lifetime. But they had (Though they never really had received anything special from him since he is concentrating in his work). And as much as I wish I was a part of that experience, I am genuinely (in all honesty) happy for them. Yes, I'm jealous as a fan, but even if I sulk here for the rest of the year, that fact will never change.

That perhaps is the kind of mindset that made me feel happy for them and made me feel calm about it. Though I can't say it directly to them, I really want to say "omedetou" and wish for the rest of us to experience the same kind of fate someday. We still have endless tomorrow. Thus, endless possibilities.

I just wanna say that we don't know about the future, but it's definitely not a loss to have faith that we'll have our chance someday too. So in conclusion, I can say that today, instead of feeling extremely jealous, I felt calm and happy for them. Their experience made me hopeful for a "future with a chance." Because as what JUMP's song "Your Seed" said in its lyrics... "Akiramenai kimi ga ireba, donna toki mo chansu wa aru."

"For as long you don't give up, there is always a chance for you."

... and this is the one line that came from them that I'd be holding on today onwards. Though on the other face of possibility, God might not grant me that kind of chance, but nothing good will come if you tolerate your negative thoughts. So putting that idea on the farthest note, I choose to face tomorrow with a positive mind because things can change depending on how you choose to view your future.

Who knows? I might just have a better chance in the future of meeting my dream boy Yamada Ryosuke. ( • ̀ω•́ )✧

On a side note: My feels on FMA live action shooting today made me kinda glad I wasn't around during Ryosuke's Kindaichi days in Taiwan and Malaysia before. I realized I was actually saved from too much jealousy towards lucky fans. lols. ( ̄∀ ̄)

Tags: blogpost, group: hey say jump, my random thoughts

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